


Becca And Aafiya's Pseudo-Penis Adventure 2: Electric Boogaloo

by MisterEAnon



Series: The Pseudo-Penis Adventures [2]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Further discussion of Spotted Hyena anatomy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 01:30:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8267707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisterEAnon/pseuds/MisterEAnon
Summary: Things get heated between two spotted hyenas, and they later spend some quality time together 'bonding'.





	

I had to admit, Friday nights were pretty great.

They were the nights the ZPD's greatest hyena officer could get drunk without worrying about work in the morning, anyway. Plus, I got to scope out some choice ass while I did so- I was mostly in the market for guys, but if a girl looked fine enough, I wouldn't object too strenuously, to say the least…

Of course, I didn't have any takers yet. I idly waved over the bartender, and passed her my card to pay off my tab for the week. I'd known her for a long damn time, and I could have gone months without paying my tab if I wanted to… But, hey: She was a friend of mine, so I wanted to make sure she had the money she was owed when she needed it.

The warthog had just handed me back my card, and I was admiring a cute otter's tail when something else caught my eye. A spotted hyena like myself was unsteadily walking towards the bar from some back-room, looking like she was barely keeping it together. A few seconds later, she was followed by a lion, who had his fly down.

I recognized the lion, too: That was [Officer Johnson](http://zootopia.wikia.com/wiki/Officer_Johnson), since he'd neglected to take off his badge after work. Considering he looked like he'd dressed in a hurry, and I myself was looking for a one night stand, I could guess where he'd just been… But that didn't explain why his 'date' for the night looked like she was about to fall to pieces.

One part of me wanted to ignore her and score some dick for the night. But it was just a small part- I didn't go through academy because I wanted to wear a badge, and I wasn't going to ignore someone in obvious distress because it would be a little out of my way. I stood up, shuffling over to where she'd slumped down at the bar, finishing her drink. “Hey. You okay?”

She sniffed. “I'm fine,” she lied miserably, waving over the bartender. The warthog glanced at me before padding over. “I'll take my check now. Actually, can I buy the rest of the bottle? And two more?” she asked, slumping down against the bar counter.

Yikes. I sat down next to her, in one free seat available. “You're not okay,” I pointed out quietly. “C'mon, you can tell me. Hyena to hyena,” I promised.

Zootopian officials can spout all they want about unity between species, and how differences don't matter: I knew that there was often a lot of comfort in people who looked like you over people who didn't. Like an extended family, in a way, even if you weren't related in anything other then species. Also, she was probably a little drunk already, which might help.

She pushed herself up from her slump, sitting up. “One night stand. He made things a little heated, wanted some foreplay before we left...”

I smothered a grin. No, Becca, focus. I mean, yeah, ordinarily that would be fun, but it obviously didn't work out here. “What went wrong? He try somethin' kinky you weren't ready for?” I guessed.

She stared at me as if I was delusional. “What do you think went wrong? He didn't know about-” She took a breath. “About… Us. Spotted hyenas.” She had a slight accent, I noticed, but only slight.

Oh, right. I was pretty used to everyone in my life knowing by now- Mostly because they had seen enough porn in their lives to have picked it up, or because I'd been shamelessly bragging about it. “Ah. So, he wasn't into that, then.”

She wiped her eye. Shit, she had tears welling up. “He told me he didn't even want to look at me,” she mumbled, downing the rest of her drink. Well, hell. That was uncalled for. I was gonna have to have a talk with Johnson.

Right. I put a paw on her shoulder. She tensed, and I half expected her to slug me for it. If she did that, I'd probably have to insist we take this outside- No need to trash the bar if she wanted the traditional Hyena way of working her feelings out. “Well, that guy can go fuck himself,” I offered in a warm, friendly tone. “Sounds like you wouldn't want to sleep with an ass like him anyway,” I opined, as the bartender brought her… Oh, damn. She really was letting her buy three bottles.

The other hyena glanced at them. “Can I get a bag for these?” The warthog nodded, hoofing off to find something for her. As the stressed hyena turned back to me, I made a mental note to learn her name at some point. “I mean, it's always the same, so I don't know why it still gets to me,” she mumbled.

I scratched my head. “What do you mean? Also, you should probably tell me your name,” I added as an afterthought.

She huffed. “You know- It gets in the way whenever I try to date anyone, for just the night or… Otherwise.” She glanced at me. “Isn't it the same for you?”

I shook my head. “Nah. Actually, a lot of guys see it as a plus, honestly,” I admitted. “Plus, if I wasn't feeling like a guy that night, I got the equipment to swing the other side for a while, you know? Gives me more options.” I mean, yeah, I wasn't bi enough to want to _date_ a woman, but pleasure's pleasure, you know? Gotta be up front about that shit, can't lead anyone on.

She stared at me, fingers tensing around one of her bottles. Man, she must still be angry with Johnson. Wonder what he said. “What?” She said, more then asked, sounding like she was growing pissed.

I leaned back. “Yeah. I mean, not often, but sometimes… Anyway, I'm getting off-track. I'm just sayin' you should be happy you got the option, you know? There'll always be some people who--”

She twitched, paw slipping off the bottle, letting it fall to the bar underneath her falling paws as she slammed them into the counter. I thought it was going to crack, but it didn't. “No. **No** , I will not listen to you spout this **bullshit** ,” she snarled, twisting away from my paw still on her shoulder. “You tell me this is a **blessing**?”

Whoa. Her mild accident before had gotten a hell of a lot thicker, now that she was upset. “Hey, hold on-”

“ _ **No,**_ ” she repeated. “This thing between my legs is nothing but a _curse_. Someone always knows and that is all they will ever see of me! You tell me I should be happy people want this? Well, I don't want that! I am a **woman** , not a **goddamn _FETISH!_** ” she exploded, standing up. She pointed angrily at the bartender. “You. Bag. Now.”

The bartender shuffled over, handing it to her. She didn't bother to tell her to get out, probably because she didn't have to. She slung two of the bottles into the bag, pointing the other one at me with her other hand.

“You may be happy being little more then a sex object,” she started, taking a deep breath. “But I want to be more then that.” She stormed out, leaving the bar silent in her wake. Everyone had been watching, of course. At least, once she'd started to shout.

It was only after she left that it occurred to me that she'd forgotten to give me her name, after all.

I slumped in my own seat. Well, hell. I was just trying to cheer her up- She sounded like she'd had a rough time with her love life. Me, well… I made sure everyone knew what I was packing, and people tended to be pretty up front when they weren't interested.

Still… A fetish? I mean, yeah, some guys just wanted to treat me like a fetish- To sleep with me for the night, and not have to see me in the morning. But the thing is, I knew that- I didn't have to see them in the morning, either. That was the entire point of a one night stand, meaningless sex. If I wasn't into that, I'd just turn them down. But I'd never actually go out with someone who only saw me like that.

I felt like an ass. I was so used to it being a good thing for me, I'd never considered that it could be a bad thing for others, much less the 'curse' she'd called it. But if she was treating it like some dirty secret, one that she had to spring on people, surprising them with something most people wouldn't be down with…

Yeah. I could see where she was coming with, I guess. The bartender idly leaned over, wiping down the bar with a clean rag, setting out some coasters nobody ever used as she cleaned. “You okay?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yeah,” I mumbled. “Peachy. Listen, I'm gonna go talk to someone- Gonna get a bottle to go after, too.” She nodded, and went back to work.

Well, my mood was shot. And since I wasn't really inclined to keep looking for cute dudes with nice dicks tonight, I might as well get going. Just one problem: I still wanted to talk to Officer Johnson.

He wasn't exactly hard to find. And- Oh, fuck's sake. “Pull your fly up,” I grumbled at him, sitting in the other side of his booth. He looked down, alarmed, and quickly closed it. “Was that-”

“The whole time, yes,” I confirmed. He groaned, putting a paw to his face. “Wonderful.”

I rolled my eyes. “As much as I would love to mock you mercilessly for that, I wanna get to the point. What happened with you and the hyena who just left?” I asked.

“I didn't get her name,” he admitted. Damn. “It was going so well. She was pretty hot, so I wanted to have a little fun, before I took her home. And when I tried to feel her up too, she had a fuckin' dick! Jesus, Becca, I thought you and the other guys were just giving me shit,” he mumbled, staring into his drink.

Oh, yeah. I'd never used the men's room with this particular lion in there, before. “Jesus, Johnson, have you never used the internet?” I shook my head. “No, off track. She said you told her you didn't want to look at her?” I crossed my arms. “Not the best thing you could tell a woman, dude.”

He winced. “Look, I was shocked, okay? It was a total mood killer. I am _not_ gay, so having a dick introduced is… No. No, I couldn't do it,” he said, shaking his head.

I sighed, putting a paw to my head. “Right. Okay, I don't really do the whole 'moral lessons' bit, so here's what you take away from this: Don't shame people for their anatomy, especially when _their whole species has it,_ ” I started, leaving the “You idiot” stated in just my tone instead of using actual words. “-And if you're not into that, just be up front with them, instead of chasing them off.”

Honestly, he was lucky she seemed so… Submissive, I dunno. If he'd tried that on me, or a more confident hyena, he'd probably be introduced to the traditional method of Hyena Conflict Resolution, and then he'd have to file an assault report…

He took a drink, draining his bottle of beer. He took it off the table, setting it to the side- I hadn't noticed, but he had three more down there. “I get it- I fucked up, tonight,” the lion rumbled.

I stood up. “Yeah, you did. But you're not the only one,” I rumbled back, turning my back on him and padding back to the bar.

I sat back at my seat at the bar, which thankfully hadn't been taken. It was another minute before the bartender wandered by. When she did, I spoke up. “Hey. I'm gonna go now- Get me a bottle of The Special to take home?”

She frowned at me. “Honey, you know I don't normally let people buy a whole bottle of The Special,” she reminded me, crossing her arms. I leaned back, rubbing one of my ears down absently.

“Yeah, I know,” I confirmed. “And that's one reason why I don't usually ask for it.”

She stared at me for a moment longer, before sighing. “At least wait until you get home to open it,” she acquiesced, reaching under the counter.

I reached into my pocket, fishing out my police badge. “Don't drink and drive, yeah,” I agreed. “Thanks.”

It was a long drive home, and a long night after that.

 

 

 

( * * * )

 

 

 

It was a few months later that I noticed her again. Somehow, she was reprising her role as 'unnamed dejected spotted hyena #1' perfectly.

I didn't put my paw on her shoulder, this time. Instead, I put it on the counter next to her. She looked up from her drink over her shoulder, looking surprised to see me again. “You know, if Johnson fucked you over again, I'll hold him down so you can beat him up,” I joked.

She looked nonplussed. “…What?”

I shrugged. “You know, the lion from last time, who- Nevermind.” Not the point, anyway. “Listen, you gotta tell me your name.”

She contemplated what she was going to say… And, instead, reached for her drink instead. Once she was quantifiably more inebriated then she was a moment before, she turned back to me. “Why?”

I sheepishly rubbed the back of my neck. “Well… Mostly because I'd feel dumb apologizing to you if I still don't know your name,” I admitted.

She sat up a little. “Wait, you want to apologize to _me?_ But--”

I grinned, waggling my finger. “Nuh-uh. Name first- I assure you, I can be very annoying about this if I have to be,” I promised.

Despite her obviously down mood, she smiled back a little. “Well, if you promise,” she murmured. “My name's Aafiya Khalil.”

I sat down next to her. A name like that certainly explained the accent. “Awesome- But don't ask me to spell that, yeah?” I bumped her shoulder with my own. “You can call me Rebecca if you really want to get on my bad side, but I'd prefer you call be Becca.”

She smirked. “Well, _Rebecca_ \--”

I huffed, nudging her again. “Hey, I mean it. I'll totally take this outside,” I vowed, even as I fought to keep the smile off my face. I soon gave up, since it wasn't working anyway.

She shoulder-bumped me back this time, which I counted as progress. “Fine, fine. Becca it is,” she agreed. “So, why would you apologize to me, when I am the one who made a scene last time?”

The bartender caught my eye. I shook my head, and the warthog kept walking. “Well, I'm the one who pushed you that far, yeah?” I pointed out. “I was just trying to help, but that doesn't mean I didn't fuck up.”

She glanced back into her drink, her smile fading. I really had to find out why she was down this time, and soon. “I… Over-reacted,” she mumbled.

I shook my head. “Nah. I mean, in retrospect, you sounded like this was a huge problem, and I can see how it could be. I mean, it was never a problem for me, so I'd never even thought you could think about it that way, you know?”

I mean, yeah, the all-girls school I went to totally wanted me to hide my junk, but it wasn't exactly comfortable to do in proper woman's clothing. It would probably be even less comfortable to hide part of who I was all of the time, though.

She took a breath. “How… How has that never been a problem for you?”

I shrugged. “I mean…” I tried to remember what it was she said. It WAS months ago. 'Fortunately', bad memories were a hell of a lot easier to remember, and the way I felt that night was enough to make it clear. At least, the part before I got wasted at home. After that, I had nothing.

“You said that kind of thing always happened, right? When the subject came up?” She nodded reluctantly. “Yeah. I mean, that's not a problem for me, since… It's part of who I am. I'm damn proud of the body I graduated police academy with, and I make sure everyone in my life knows it, you know? So, 'It' is not a secret.”

She was looking at me with wonder, now. “But, how… How can you live your life like that? Do they not shun you, feel disgusted by it? It's not… Normal, for women to have--”

I frowned. “Whoa, hey,” I said, interrupting her. “Don't think like that. It is **totally** normal for a woman to have what we do, if they're a spotted hyena. Blaming yourself for that, thinking you aren't 'normal' because of what species you are is just bullshit,” I announced.

I leaned over to my other side. “No offense,” I informed my other seat-neighbor.

“None taken,” rumbled the bull who had taken the seat next to me while we'd been talking.

I glanced back at Aafiya. “Yeah. So…” What was my point again? Shit, I never was good at speeches and junk. “Listen. You gonna call me a freak?”

She seemed surprised. “What? No, of course not.”

I rolled my eyes. “Liar. You totally are- You're calling me a freak, and you're calling every spotted hyena woman a freak too. If your junk means you're not normal, then none of us are normal, too. You see what I'm saying?”

She glanced away, obviously embarrassed. “I… I had not thought of it like that.”

I chuckled. “'Course you haven't. If you had, you wouldn't be thinking like that. Now, spill: Why are you moping this time around? Because that offer about beating up Johnson is still on the table--”

She returned the chuckle. “No, no, that is quite alright. It is not this 'Johnson'- I have a boyfriend, now,” she admitted.

I gave an exaggerated sigh. “Damn, and here I was thinking you were on the list for make up sex.” She suddenly turned her head, looking alarmed, and I waved a paw. “Joking, obviously.” She relaxed- “I wouldn't sleep with you just to make up,” I continued. “Anyway, boyfriend? 'Cause if we hold HIM down and beat him up, I'm pretty sure that'd be domestic abuse--”

She gave me a weird look, but shook her head and moved on. “No, he's been perfect- And that's just it.” She put her elbow on the bar, holding her head up by the chin. “We were going to go out tonight, him and my other friend, as a double date. He had to cancel at the last minute.”

I took a moment to parse that. “I think you're one short for a double date.”

She rolled her eyes, gesturing with her other paw over her shoulder. “Sam said she'd pick up her date while we were here. She's… Somewhere,” she grumbled.

I glanced back, unsure who this 'Sam' was, or what she looked like. Either way, I chuckled. She sounded like my kind of girl. “Heh. So, you're bummed because your boyfriend couldn't make it?”

She shook her head. “No. I'm worried, because… This is the only relationship I've had that's lasted this long. Always, **_it_** is what ruins my relationships, either because it is all anyone cares about from me, or it disgusts them, or people tell me I am not a real woman-”

I started to frown as she listed reasons, and it steadily grew with every reason she added. But before I could speak up, she continued.

“-But with him, it is different. He knows,” she finished.

I waited a few seconds. When no more was forthcoming, I nodded slowly, trying to understand. “So… He knows you've got not-quite-a-dick, and he's okay with that?” I asked, just to clarify.

She flushed. “Please, do not- Yes. Yes, he knows, and he says he's fine with that. He…” She blushed, cheeks coloring. “He tells me he cares for me based on who I am, not what I am.”

Damn, sounded like a keeper. “Well, alright!” I clapped her on the shoulder. “You got nothing to worry about, then.”

She frowned at me. “You say that like it is that easy.”

I shrugged again. “It kinda is. You asked earlier… Something about how I could live my life like I do, being so open about who- And what- I am. Right?” She nodded, but didn't say anything, so I continued. “Yeah. So, you're right- There are people who will be disgusted, and people who will tell you you're not a real woman. The first people will fuck off by themselves, most of the time, and you don't have to justify your entire race to assholes like that. And the second, well.”

I smiled. It was not a nice smile. There were a lot of teeth involved. “The second group can go fuck themselves, and I'll be more then happy to fuck them up if they need help getting there.”

Legally speaking, a spotted hyena woman was as much of a woman as one of any other species, and it was legally anywhere between discrimination to some kind of obscure hate crime, I think, to treat them otherwise. I didn't really remember- I'd always had too much of a forceful personality to let anyone cow me like that, anyway.

She blushed again. “Forgive me for this, but… I would not have taken you for the kind of person who would say these things.” I raised an eyebrow, and she raised her paws. “I know better now, I swear!”

I smirked, shoulder-bumping her once more. “Yeah, I come off more like a dumb jock who sleeps around, yeah?” The color in her cheeks deepened, and I chuckled. “Yeah, I know. And I kind of was a jock back in the day, and I do like to sleep around, but I'm not THAT dumb. And hey-” I pointed a finger at her. “I remember the pamphlets on species-specific discrimination in school just as well as you do.”

I frowned. “Wait. All hyenas got those, right?” I asked. I mean, I was MOSTLY sure, but I was the only one where I went to school, something all the other girls in my room abused quite a bit- Oh, She nodded. Moving on- “-Right. So, back to where I was going with this…” I took a moment to think. “Oh, yeah. So, once you've cleared out all the assholes in your life, anyone who likes you for you and not your junk is probably legit. The ones who are just lying tend to be pretty transparent about it.”

She glanced down. “I… I should know this. I trust him. And yet, I feel as though I do not trust myself not to mess it up in some way, regardless.”

I huffed. “You are a piece of work, aren't you,” I mumbled.

She glanced up again. “What was that?”

I clapped her on the back. “I think you ought to give me your number. I get the feeling we'll be talking about this for a while before you're over it--”

“Hey, guys!” offered a cheery voice behind me. I looked back. Then, I looked down, and found a raccoon peering up at me.

Beside me, Aafiya was doing the same. Unlike me, though, she seemed to know what was going on. “Oh, hello Sam,” she greeted. “Didn't find anymore?”

The newly introduced Sam made a face. “No one I'd WANT to sleep with. There was this one raccoon guy, but you know the rule. So, who's this?” she asked, pointing a finger at me.

I spun around on the stool. “Hey, I'm Becca,” I introduced myself. “We're just talking about spotted hyena stuff.”

The little raccoon thought for a moment. “Oh! So, stuff about the girl dick?” she asked, making my previous conversation partner sputter.

“It is NOT a 'girl dick-',” Aafiya started to interject, before I beat her to the punch with my own two cents.

“-But if you want to find out for yourself, I could give you a personal demonstration,” I joked, wiggling my eyebrows. The raccoon made a very interested 'Oooh~' noise, leaning forward.

The hyena beside me felt quite differently. “God, not you, too. It's bad enough with just my brother--”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I spoke up, holding up my paws. “You-” I pointed at Sam. “And her brother?” I added, pointing at Aafiya, who was now holding her face in her paws.

“Oooh, yeah,” Sam grinned. “You wanna hear about it?”

“Fuck yeah I do,” I replied, sitting up.

“Please, we can talk about this-” pleaded Aafiya, sounding defeated already. That just made us grin bigger- Me and the raccoon. I was digging her style, I couldn't lie.

“And we will… Over drinks!” I waved the bartender over.

I knew this night was gonna be awesome.


End file.
